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Hey, I’m Christina, you can call me Cee, and I am the reigning champ of imposter syndrome. But after years of therapy and some intense lessons in self care, I can fully acknowledge my potential. The complex mind of an overthinking overachiever is unpacking all the shit in my mind and likely yours.
My brain is a constant word salad of should I do this? Is this right? Should I take this opportunity? Do they care? Is this happy good for me? How many supplements should I be having to be a healthy person? Is this Greek yogurt inspired? What if I fail? What if I win? What if they see me? These thoughts are all consuming and often times there’s neither an outcome or result. Just thoughts taken up prime real estate in the brain. Another file set aside for a future panic attack.
This podcast is for those who spend hours overthinking every action and every decision. For those of us who unknowingly accomplish so much that sometimes we can’t even recognize them as achievements because it’s likely not enough. This podcast is for the over -thinker, the over -achiever, the overwhelmed, and the over -ourselves being stuck. Maybe we find solutions and maybe we just find comfort in each other. If you’re down to unpack it with me, I’ll see you here each week ready to tackle yet another brain -dumping word salad.
I’ll see you here. Let’s get into it. So this is, I don’t know, several weeks of me recording, liking some things, not liking some things, overthinking which software I should be using, which camera, which mic, which adapter. Girl, it’s been a lot. And while I’ve recorded so many episodes at this point, I wanna start fresh. The first episode is overthinking this. Welcome, take a seat, grab a coffee, come snuggle up.
I originally had so many different formats planned. Was I going to write a script? Was I going to write a story? Read you the story. Was I going to word salad this whole thing? And I’ve tried several different ways to do this. I think ultimately, while I love to write and I love to tell a story, this format between you and me feels more natural, feels more like a conversation. And I don’t want to read you a story. That’s what my newsletter is for. Subscribe. So what you’ll get each episode is overthinking something and it’s likely an achievement.
It’s likely a decision, it’s likely an action. But today’s episode is about overthinking this, starting a podcast and really being seen. It is so scary to be the face of anything. Doing the podcast has been something that’s been on my list for years and only really actioned four or five years ago. I had originally recorded 10 episodes, same concept, same mic.
And I just, I don’t know, I didn’t feel right for some reason didn’t feel like the right time, I was in a very different space. I was in some pretty intense therapy and really unpacking some things that I think were necessary before we got here. So while this was years in the making, this is a fresh take on the concept. What I know to be true about these two words, overthinking and overachieving, it’s all enmeshed in my DNA. As an overthinker, I can pinpoint the exact moment in my childhood where second -guessing every decision was a part of my everyday. Doubt was instilled in my environment growing up to really not trust myself, trust the decisions. It made me into a kid that hid a lot of my truth. It turned me into a kid that was very afraid and very ashamed and very scared.
Not only do we doubt every decision, but we wanted everyone else’s input because we certainly couldn’t make it on our own. Being in an environment to where you’re told to doubt yourself because you don’t know better is a hard truth to swallow. Knowing that likely your intuition, even as a kid, was pretty damn accurate. But we don’t have to impact childhood trauma right now.
Overthinking, overachieving, I think, sits in different camps for other people. For mine, it was a form of validation and a form of love. If I could achieve something, I would be seen, I would be loved, and I would be chosen. Yeah, heavy, heavy as a kid to think that achieving something meant that you could be loved, meant that you would have a nice day, meant that the stress that you would feel coming home, not certain what the reaction would be based off your achievements or lack thereof.
Yeah, it’s scary. Overachieving became my mindset for years to come. And so you have this combination of trying to prove yourself, trying to be seen, trying to be loved. So achievement became the marker and overthinking began the doubt. So here we are, a fun little sandwich of me and likely you if you made it here. I wanted to start this podcast because I hadn’t really found someone talking pretty openly about what they’re experiencing as an entrepreneur, as a very ambitious, overachieving person.
I grew up in Girlboss era as a, what am I called? Like an elder millennial. Being in that environment meant that we can be extremely ambitious and heavily goal oriented and ladder climbing and break the glass ceiling energy.
So rising to the “top”, this proverbial top became the mission and it changed my focus from me to them seeking approval from whoever them is. So I felt and I know that this podcast has to exist because the one thing I do know is how to be vulnerable on the internet. Holler back, pro -fresh style. If you made it here because of huddle, if you made it here because of jigsaw, if you made it here because of pro -fresh, if you made it here because of the internet, hi.
It’s so good to see you in this format. It’s so good to be here in this format. If you made it here through a little SEO, you’re welcome. Nice to be here with you. What you’ll find here, as I don’t have it figured out, this shit is hard. It’s challenging. It’s constantly pushing a button that is worn and fragile and so often misunderstood.
You know, I just started learning about feelings like a couple years ago and really started to understand my feelings a year ago. That’s how deeply disconnected I have been to myself. So all this to say, this podcast was something I overthought because I didn’t want it to be something that was unnecessary in our community, in our environment. There are so many voices happening right now, some really, really good really, really powerful save bookmarks, subscribe, swipe up, all the things. But many are just serving as noise trying to do this, this being a way to communicate my lived experience, my perspective to a community that it resonates with.
It’s all that I wanted and had a hard time finding. And I exist in several forms as a queer person, as a multiracial person as the eldest daughter, as a kid of divorced parents, as a kid who really wasn’t a kid, the dynamic I know that I exist in is very familiar to those who listen. Because if you made it here, something within what I’ve shared anywhere on the internet in the past 15 years has resonated with you.
And while this podcast could evolve and change and grow and become something more, what I hope you gain from this is a little bit of space and time for however long that we are together, in the episodic container that we get to be here together. Sharing that experience, sharing our overwhelm, sharing the constraints of our story, sharing the dynamics of our stories. Because what I do know is the more that we talk about ourselves, the things we experience, the things we’ve witnessed, the chapters we otherwise wouldn’t want to talk about, I hope that this becomes a space to do that.
And while this isn’t a two -way conversation, as much as I would love it to be, this is a way for me to share mine and connect with you, connect us in that way. So if you love overthinking and you love overachieving, but you hate overwhelm, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re here. If for nothing else but a bit of permission and a bit of release, maybe a laugh, maybe a cry,
If you know, you know, I’m just very happy to have you here. So moving forward, lots of fun things in store. Like I said, I’ve already recorded 10 episodes, so we’ve got the lay of the land real clear. And every episode will be about exploring what it means to embody this overthinking, overachieving existence, because it can be a lot. And a lot of this will sit in the existence of preneurship, because inherently, that is who I am. This is a part of huddle.
Hi, if you’re from HDDL, welcome, welcome. Will you get business tips? Maybe, I don’t know. I’m still thinking about it. This will just be an extension of what I bring to life with Huddle, what I bring to life on the internet, because what I do know is that what I build can no longer be behind something, behind another business, behind another person, behind someone else’s idea. So we’re no longer behind the scenes, hiding. So stick with me. Stick with this because likely if you’re here you’re some semblance of a preneur or you have dreams of being one you have dreams of existing for yourself instead of someone else and really you might be over making someone else’s dreams come to life yeah let that one sit I’ve spent years building other people’s dreams and other people’s ideas.
And not to say, I mean, fuck, that’s what huddle’s all about, right? That’s my entire mission, is to bring your ideas to life. But this is different. This is different. I’m not a cog in someone’s wheel. My ideas don’t go unwarranted. The way I exist as a creative and a strategist, as in a wash for someone, isn’t just a check mark, a crossing off a to -do list task. Huddle is created to build impact for someone else without, and this is a big without, overextending my existence for someone else. It’s about boundaries, babe. We are in a boundaries existence.
So if I can leave you with anything, if this is the last time you hear this voice because you are IDK, IDC, I wanna tell you this. If at any point you have felt like you cannot do this shit anymore that life has got to be on your terms in some way, some capacity, because you know you’re bigger than the confines of your workplace, the confines of your relationship, the confines of your home.
Let this be permission. Let this be permission to jump. Jump into the risk of choosing yourself. There is nothing better. Nothing better. I can’t look back at any relationship, any job, any house, any city, and think, damn, shouldn’t have chose myself, never.
So if you’re in a space of consideration and likely overthinking what this decision will mean, take a beat, really think about what that means because what it’s asking you to do is to choose yourself. It’s only coming up, it’s only nagging at you because it’s waiting for you to be in action for you, no one else. If the city isn’t right, if the person isn’t right, if the job isn’t right, if the idea isn’t right, it’s time to move.
And then we can overthink it together. We can overanalyze together, but we can likely achieve some cool shit and see ourselves in a better way and see ourselves in a way that we probably haven’t seen in quite some time. And if you follow me on YouTube, then you know this side now. I’m going to bring it back here because it was a part of that DNA and I really treasure it felt. So if you know you know say it with me go out go get coffee on your lunch break and go connect with someone in real life because at the end of the day that’s all we have. I’ll see you next time bye.
